The Big USA Pilgrimage: Traveling with Preschoolers

I recently wrote a post about traveling between the USA and Australia with an infant in tow. As I said then and will repeat now, making these transpacific journeys with children adds a whole other dimension and as children age, their requirements change. So in this post, I'd like to talk a little bit about making the journey with preschool aged children.

The good news is, I think as my children have aged, the journey has gotten a bit easier. Firstly, the hard work I've put in in the past has started to pay off. The journeys I made with them as babies gave them an introduction to the trip itself and to the goodness that waits for them on the other side: grandparents, cousins, Chick-fil-a...you get the idea. My kids never complain about the length of the journey to the USA as they've been enough times to understand that the pain is worth the gain in the long run. Of course they get bored and sometimes frustrated during the trip, but the fact that they've been so many times now means that they well and truly have an understanding of how long it will take and as such have reasonable expectations as to what will happen and when. This understanding of the journey itself is priceless. So put that in the column of reasons to take them and take them often.

Once my kids were beyond the baby stage, I had to transition my thinking from how will I keep them fed, changed and well rested on the flight to how will I keep them entertained (and fed, and well rested and worst case scenario...changed)? So I began researching ideas on how to entertain young children on such a long journey. I spoke to other Expats about it, I read articles online and I tried to take away ideas that I thought would work the best for my kids.

The first thing I did was decide that the children were going to have to share the load a little bit. My children were still young enough to require some nappies and a few changes of clothes, add to that snacks, travel documents, cameras, wipes, medicines, and on and on and on and my carry on luggage was well and truly full. So I got each of them their own little backpacks. They both have a special blanket and a small stuffed animal they sleep with. I packed their blankets and stuffed animals in their bags so they would have those special comforts on the plane.

Then for about a month or so before the flight, I scoured the $2 shops for things to entertain them on the plane. Something I read online said you should take a mix of old and new things for the kids. A few old and loved toys that you know they will enjoy having along, but then something new to surprise them and distract them once their old favourites have lost their luster (ie the remaining 13.5 hours of the flight). Here's a few ideas of the sorts of things I've included in their backpacks over the last several trips (I've got a girl and a boy, so hopefully the list covers ideas for both genders):

*Small notebooks or drawing paper
*Coloured pencils/pens/crayons/textas (or markers)
*Stickers (pages of stickers)
*Colouring/Activity books
*Crayola Recoloritz (reusable themed pages that can be wiped clean and coloured in again and again)
*Stencils
*Story books (paperback is the way to go, even though board books are sturdier--they are heavy)
*Paper dolls
*Play doh w/a few small cookie cutter shapes
*Polly Pocket dolls & accessories or similar (small, light weight, but easily lost so beware)
*Hot wheels cars (or in my son's case the cars from the Disney Pixar Cars movie)
*Fold up play mat for the cars
*Small plastic animals
*Barbie dolls with a few accessories (again, accessories can go missing so beware)
*Magnetic Dress Up Dolls/Robots/Pirates
*Magnetic Playbooks by Tiger Tribe
*Playing cards
*Flash cards
*Figurines (choose your poison: Batman, Superman, the Wiggles, Ben 10, etc, etc)

There you go. A few ideas of the kinds of things we've packed during our past several trips. It sounds like a lot of items to fit into small backpacks, but we don't take very many of any one thing and we don't necessarily take everything on the list. For instance, this year my son was very heavily into the cars from the Cars movie. He has a small collection here at home so I got him to choose 5 that he wanted to take with him and we put them into a zippered pencil case to keep them together in his backpack. (A Ziploc would do the same trick, but a pencil case is sturdy and will last the whole trip.) Then before we departed, I got him 2 new cars for his collection which I put in his backpack. So when we are on the plane, he opens it to find the cars he packed and loves plus a surprise two new ones. He's happy. I'm happy. We're all happy and these cars keep him busy for ages. With my daughter, she was very keen on her Barbies. So I got her to choose two Barbies and a few changes of clothes that she wanted to take along. She stored her things in a pencil case inside her backpack as well. Then I found some mini-Barbie figures that were tiny and could be used as siblings or babies of the bigger Barbies and I put them in her backpack. On the plane she opens her pack to find her old Barbies plus a couple of new mini ones. She's happy. I'm happy. We're all happy.

At some stage, I began to question the number of things I was purchasing to put in their backpacks for these trips. Between the few new toys and the crayons, colouring books, etc. I was spending anywhere between $30-$60. Then in the middle of one of our trips, I realised something. These items in their backpacks weren't just for the plane. They were for the car rides once we got there. They were for the days at people's homes who don't have children or toys. They were for the fun of sharing with their cousins and the knowledge that even though my children were away from their homes, they still had a few things with them that were truly theirs. These items weren't just for 14 hours of entertainment, they were for 6-8 weeks of entertainment. When I thought of it that way, it seemed like money well spent.

What we don't take is a portable DVD player or DVDs of any kind. I often see people lugging these on the flights and I'm not sure why. Qantas has on demand movies and TV shows on individual screens in each seat. My kids can watch their choice of shows and I don't have to carry the DVD player. When we get to the USA, there is so much to do and so many people to visit that we don't usually have time to watch DVDs. So what would be the point of having it? Others might find it necessary or useful, but we've survived without it.

Hopefully this post is useful to those of you making this long haul journey with your preschool aged children. Do you have any useful tips of your own? Please feel free to add them in the comments section as we can all learn from one another.

The Big USA Pilgrimage: Traveling with an Infant

International travel is always an undertaking, but never more so than when you have kids in tow. The flights between Australia and the USA are so long that one must come prepared. I was extremely anxious before we took our first transpacific flight with my first born. She was 7 months old at the time and I know I lost sleep for many nights before we departed wondering if she'd scream her guts out for 14hrs and how exactly I'd deal with the ensuing mutiny if that really did occur. Fortunately, my nightmares never saw the light of day and my daughter was relatively well behaved. Of course, half of that is credit to her personality and the other half is credit to good planning on my part.

When traveling with an infant on a transpacific flight, I always tried to contain my hand luggage to just the nappy (diaper) bag. The reason being, I'd need to have my hands free to carry the baby. Inside of the nappy bag I'd pack:

*nappies (enough for the flight plus extra in case we missed a connection or had a delay)
*Plastic bags
*tissues
*wipes
*changing mat
*bottles (w/formula if you require or to be used for milk)
*baby food or snacks
*bibs
*baby's blanket
*PJs
*Couple of changes of clothes for baby and a clean shirt for me
*Medicines: panadol, dimetap, bonjela, etc
*Wallet
*Travel Documents
*My personal toiletries (toothbrush, toothpaste, etc)
*Toys: 6 or 7 small items, some old favourites mixed with something totally new but NOTHING with noise (your baby might like the sounds, but your fellow passengers don't...trust me!)

(This is not an exhaustive list, but just a general idea)

I always pack these items in sealed plastic bags (ziplocs or space bags). I did it on a whim the very first time I flew the distance with my new baby and have stuck to this method ever since. It's much easier to pack and repack ziploc bags holding groups of items rather than each item individually. Also, something always spills or leaks, so if every item is zipped up in plastic then you won't have any big consequences with these unfortunate spills.

My children always traveled as lap children when they were under 2 years old. This meant we only paid 10% of the full fare for them and they aren't allocated a seat. When they are small enough, they can sleep in a built in bassinet while on board the plane. The bassinets fold down from the bulk head at the front of each section of the plane (on Qantas anyway). Many parents find this a useful place for baby to sleep during the flight. My kids have always hated them and never settled to sleep in them . So in my personal experience, they were of little value, unfortunately. Don't be deterred though. Give them a go and see if they work for your child. If it means having your lap free for 7 out of 14 hours, then it's all worth it. The downside to these bulk head seats is the arm rests house your tray tables so they do not lift up. So if you do have an empty seat next to you, you can't really stretch out because the arm rest is in the way. So bottom line is, if you aren't going to use the bassinets, try to request seats elsewhere so you can spread out more easily if you have the chance.

Another item I found really useful during my travels with my infant children was my Baby Bjorn. This came in super handy when baby number 2 arrived and I needed to have my hands free to hold child number 1's hand or push child number 1 in a stroller (pram). You do have to completely remove baby from the pouch and put the whole thing through the x-ray machine at the security check point, but it was nice to have my hands free for checking in, paying for food, carrying hand luggage, etc. (It might be important to note here that a great many of my USA trips with my children have been done solo due to my husband's work commitments. So having my hands free was very important because I was doing everything myself),

I always take a small collapsible stroller that I can gate check. I found it useful to have the kids buckled into a stroller in a busy airport so 1) they don't get lost and 2) we can move quickly if necessary. Also, I've found the stroller a great help in transporting my hand luggage as I'd generally hook that bag on the handles. A basic stroller that can fully recline with some sort of small storage space underneath is what I've always used. The stroller has always been really helpful in the LAX airport waiting for our return flight to Melbourne as that flight doesn't depart until 11pm LA time. By this point, my kids are beyond tired. So I just wheel them around in the stroller till they fall asleep and then wrap them up and carry them on board the plane when it's time to depart, turning the stroller over to the airline staff at the jet way entrance.

As for car seats, we've never taken them along. Partly because we've got so much other luggage and partly because we are always able to borrow seats from kind family and friends upon arrival in the USA. Now that our kids are older and only require the basic booster seats, we've actually purchased their own inexpensive ones in the USA and leave them with family members there from year to year. This works well if you always visit the same place.

I'm sure this does seem like a lot of things to consider, but when it's all packed up, it' isn't really that bad. I'd love to hear from others about what things you take along and what's worked for you. Please share what you know in the comments section! Thanks.

The Big USA Pilgrimage: Airline Choices or Why I heart Qantas

I get plenty of comments on this blog (when I actually find the time to post) from Americans who have recently moved to Australia for work purposes as well as other young American women, like me, who have fallen head over heals for their own Handsome Australians and have decided to settle in Australia. In either case, we all need/want to travel back to the USA at some stage. Some of us will do it often, some of us will do it rarely, but it will be done. In this post, I thought I'd outline my thoughts on the airline choice we make for the Australia-USA journey. I'd love for this to be a conversation where everyone shares their opinions and thoughts regarding the various airlines in the comments section. We can all learn something from one another right?

Here it is: We ALWAYS fly Qantas. This isn't meant to be an advert for Qantas, but over time they've proven to be the airline that best meets our requirements. Having lived in Australia for 10 years, Qantas, United, and Air New Zealand were originally the only choices we had to choose from regarding our travel to the USA. From Melbourne, United stops in Sydney before heading to LAX or SFO. Air New Zealand takes you from Melbourne to Auckland before continuing to LAX. Qantas takes you directly from Melbourne to LAX non-stop. Need I say more?

Before I had children, I didn't mind stopping in NZ or Sydney, but since I've had kids I've learned that the most direct and quickest route is the best choice. The fewer times you have to get on and off a plane, the fewer times you have to shift luggage, the fewer times you have to resettle a restless child--frankly, the better. Qantas isn't always the cheapest choice, they may be a few hundred dollars more than the competition at times, but during these long trips I'd pay far more than that for the sanity I gain through only having the one direct flight. (Obviously from other parts of Australia your choices will be different and in many cases, better).

In the past few years, the route between Australia and the USA has been deregulated allowing for more competition. New airlines have come into the market that weren't flying these routes 10 years ago. Delta, V Australia, and Jet Star are among the airlines that now offer services to different parts of the USA. As we only travel to the USA once a year and are heavily invested in the Qantas frequent flyer program, we have yet to try any of the other airlines. Some of you may have traveled with the other airlines and have valuable insights about them. Feel free to chime in with your experiences in the comments section. =)

So, the obvious reason why we fly Qantas is the ability to fly direct, but there are other things I like about the experiences we've had. Qantas offers an excellent on board entertainment system that makes traveling with children a lot more enjoyable. Each seat in Economy class (because that's where we fly!) comes equipped with a TV screen in the seat back in front of you. Your arm rest holds the remote control and at your finger tips are hours of "on demand" TV shows, movies and games. There is a plethora of child friendly content and the kids can pick and choose what they want to watch or play. (This has recently become even easier on the new A380s as the entire system is operated by a touch screen--so easy even my 3 year old can do it on his own). I love it! I don't have to carry a portable DVD player or lug a laptop. The kids don't have to argue over who gets to watch what--we all decide our own destinies! It's fantastic.

Qantas still offers a meal service and a 'kid's meal' option. I always book the children a 'kid's meal' and generally ring Qantas to confirm ahead of time because we've been caught out a few times. Their kid's meals are very kid friendly and offer a selection of items on the tray both hot and cold, sweet and savoury. This is something you take for granted and then one day you fly Jet Star and you realise how good you had it on Qantas...more about that another day.

Generally, there is a kid's activity pack that gets passed out at the start of the journey and my kids always seem to get at least 45 minutes of joy out of these. These packs are ideal for bridging the gap between take off and when the entertainment system is up and running (on the 747s anyway, the new A380s let you start watching videos before you even take off--hooray!). If you don't get handed one, be sure to ask for it. Once the initial excitement wears off, we tuck them away and revisit them later in our journey.

Qantas staff have been, in our experience, polite and helpful. I find the Melbourne ground staff to be really, really friendly. The flight attendants on board are generally nice and good with our kids and have given us extra help when we require it. The happiness and good will seems to end in LA though as the staff that work the counters and gates in LA seem to be missing the laid back and friendly Aussie spirit, and are more in keeping with the sometimes rough and unpredictable city in which they work. I have found that even the sternest of encounters can be softened by a smile from my son, so I keep him nearby to charm these tough LA gatekeepers. Hey, whatever works right?

The benefits of sticking with Qantas has meant that we've been able to take advantage of their frequent flyer program. Since we know we'll be making a USA trip each year, we've set ourselves up with credit cards that earn Qantas points and we take advantage of other opportunities like Woolworth's Everyday Rewards program, that allow us to collect more frequent flyer points. We are all members of the Qantas frequent flyer program--including the kids. We enrolled them when they were 2 years old and we had to start paying for their seats. This means we all earn points each time we fly with Qantas and their program allows you to transfer points between family members. So, all of these things add up and we get a couple of free tickets every second year or so. When you are looking at airfares for 4, every little bit helps!

There you have it, the many reasons why we choose Qantas for our USA trips. Again, I am not trying to intentionally promote the airline, bur rather outline the reasons why it's proven to be a sensible choice for our family. Would love to hear what everyone else thinks! Let the comments begin!

The Big USA Pilgrimage

The time rolls around each year when the Handsome Australian and I prepare ourselves and the little people for our pilgrimage to the USA. Since I've been living in Australia (for the better part of 10 years) I've averaged about 1 trip to the USA each year. In the beginning, our trips generally lasted for 2 to 3 weeks. The Handsome Australian and I both had busy work schedules and this was pretty much the maximum amount of time we could afford to take off in one hit. Packing for those trips was easy as we typically traveled over the Christmas period and we confidently loaded our bags with jeans and jumpers and off we went.

Now that we've had two children, our trips to the USA have become a completely different endeavour, as you might imagine. Firstly, we've changed the time of year that we travel. While being with my family during Christmas would be lovely, we've found that airfares to the USA are nearly double during the Christmas period. Airports are crowded and the weather can be uncooperative. Who wants to be stuck in an airport with over-tired toddlers after a 14 hr flight waiting for 6 hours because your connection has been delayed or canceled? Certainly not I. We've found some of the best fares to be had are generally during the North American Spring and Fall. Typically February, March and April are good travel months as well as October and early November.

We've chosen to travel during March/April for the past four years. This has meant we've spent Easter with my family each time. Since we are unable to be in the USA for Christmas, it's been lovely to share another significant holiday and its traditions with my family. Our children look forward to the colouring of eggs, the big Easter egg hunt and all the play time they get with their many American cousins. It's a tradition and while I'd love my kids to have the opportunity to spend Christmas with their cousins as well, I appreciate that life as an expat has its limitations. Many times this lifestyle requires compromise and thinking outside the box. So instead of being homesick and sad about missing Christmas, we've endeavoured to create a new set of customs that fit our schedule and don't bust our budget.

How long do we normally visit for now? What do we pack? Stay tuned for a new series of posts where I will endeavour to share what I've learned over the years about making this big journey. Thanks for stopping by!

One down, one to go

We've now been in the USA for a month. Well, I say the USA, but I really mean Texas. Texas, as we say here in Texas, is like a whole other country. I can honestly say that this saying rings true for me now more than ever before, because when we come to visit Texas we do feel like we are in a whole other country.

It feels as if we've been all over the state, but we really haven't. We've crisscrossed it once now and will repeat this insane behaviour two more times. We've spent time in the wilds of West Texas in the dusty but charming town of El Paso. We've been to the concrete jungle that is Houston and we've spent a week in the absolutely stunning Texas Hill Country (a beautiful area just outside of San Antonio). We've seen family and friends and have gotten up to all sorts. The Handsome Australian was here with us for the first three weeks but has since returned to Australia and the daily grind. We miss him terribly, but there is more fun to be had here and our flight back to Australia doesn't leave for another month. What's a girl to do? Seek out more tacos perhaps? I'm down with that.

I'm attempting to put together a few stories/observations from the trip so far so stay tuned for those in coming days.

If you are reading this in Australia, run out and drink a latte for me will ya? Have some vegemite for my oldest and someone go and ride my son's fire engine at his Australian Grandma's house--he's been banging on about that thing since we arrived here. Who knew a kid could miss a fire engine so much?

The Pilgrimage

In a week's time, our family will embark on what has become an annual pilgrimage. Since the birth of my first child, I've returned to the USA once a year to visit family and friends. There was even one year when I went twice (a family wedding--couldn't miss that!). My first born is now just shy of turning 5 years old and this trip will count as her 6th visit to the USA. I sat down recently and did the math. She's spent a total of 27 weeks in the USA which is approximately 6 months and about 10% of her life thus far. These annual trips are adding up. We generally spend six weeks stateside when we go, but this year we'll spend 8 weeks. My children have many lovely memories of these trips. They get to spend time with their American grandparents, Aunties, Uncles and cousins. They get to eat food that we don't have in Australia or in some cases, food we don't let them have in Australia. They learn plenty of American words while we are there and even come back with slight American accents. The maturity and personal growth I've witnessed in both my children as a result of these trips is mind boggling, given their relative ages. It's such a truly rich experience for them. We are blessed to have the opportunity.

Of course these journeys have their down sides as well. The first being the distance. It takes so bloody long to get to the States. 14 hours on a plane is a really, really long time when you are a small child. It's a really, really, really, really long time when you are the parent of said small children. Of course the 14 hours just gets us to Los Angeles and then we have to connect to Texas. I'm not a real fan of Los Angeles, but sometimes I wish my whole family lived there. It would make the trip a little bit shorter each time.

As the children get older, making the trip is easier because they understand where we are going, what we are doing and who we will be seeing, but on the other hand they know what they will be missing from here while they are gone. Like any young preschoolers, they've got plenty of things they do each week--preschool, swimming lessons, dance lessons and play dates galore. All of these things must be organised before we depart. The list of people we need to notify and arrangements that we need to make before we go seems to get longer each time.

It's not just the activities the children miss, it's the people too. The neighbourhood we live in here in Australia is filled with children of similar ages and our children are in constant contact with many of them. I knew I was in trouble when my then 2 year old daughter burst into tears during one of our USA trips and began saying, "But Mommy I miss my friends!!" Was she serious? She was only two!! In hindsight, I think she was serious and she certainly does miss Australia when we are away. At the same time, she has a real fondness for America and often gets emotional about missing family members that live there (emotional attachments that she wouldn't have if we didn't make these trips).

I think the transition between the two countries is another element of these pilgrimages that is sometimes difficult. It's almost as if you have to put your life completely on hold in one place and then try and slot yourself in when you arrive at the other place (where you haven't actually been for an entire year). The same is true on the return...you've got to remove yourself from your new found comfort zone and return to your "regular" routine (that you've been missing from for 2 months). It's enough to make your head spin.

Good and bad, we continue to make the journey. I can't imagine it any other way.

An Australian Holiday

As you, my loyal readers (all two of you--thanks so much for stopping by), may have noticed, I've been missing from the blog for awhile. Sorry for not posting more regularly recently, but life has been moving at an awfully quick pace outside the blogosphere and I've been endeavouring to keep up with it. This week though, it's all about relaxing and taking it easy on holiday.

On Sunday, which was Father's Day here in Australia (yet another difference between the USA and here. I've got to remember to wish my Dad back in the USA Happy Father's Day in June, and then tee my kids up with presents and cards for the hubby here in September. It can be very confusing at times. Anyway, back to my point...) the Handsome Australian and I bundled our children into a taxi at the very early hour of 5am and took a ride to the Melbourne Airport.

Once we arrived at the Melbourne Airport, we made our way to the Virgin Blue luggage drop off counters and checked our bags in for our flight to Brisbane, Queensland. Our time at the airport was really not that interesting except for the fact that not a single person--at the ticket counter or in subsequent security checks or at the gate for boarding asked any of us for any form of identification. I think that's the first time in a long time I've travelled on an airplane and not been asked to prove who I am and that my name matches my ticket. It was like a throw back to the 70s or the 80s or whenever it was that we didn't need our IDs all the time.

In many ways it was refreshing as everyone was totally friendly and didn't treat each of us like a criminal with something to hide (which I have to say is often the feeling you get as you travel through security in the USA). On the other hand, it was a bit disturbing because you think, "Well they let me through, who else are they letting through?" Yeah, a very interesting situation to say the least.

Nevertheless, we boarded our flight and arrived safely several hours later at the sunny Brisbane airport. Brisbane wasn't our final destination though. We stopped briefly and picked up our hire car (that's Aussie for rental car) and took a two hour drive north along the Bruce Highway to a well known Australian holiday spot along the famous Sunshine Coast called Noosa.

We've never been to Noosa before and this is only our second visit to Queensland. I've lived in Australia for 8 years now, but have done very little domestic travel in that time period. The Handsome Australian and I have made it up to Sydney and across to Adelaide and have driven through a lot of rural Victoria and we even went on a road trip to Canberra once, but that pretty much does it for my domestic travel here.

Last year, we brought our children up to Queensland just before Christmas time and we spent a week on the Gold Coast (which is a touristy beach area just south of Brisbane). During that trip and this current one, I've been confronted with the odd feeling of what it's like to be tourist in the country in which you live, but not in which you are from. Does that even make sense?

It feels odd being a tourist in Australia because we do live here, but we don't live in Queensland. There are a lot of people from overseas about the place and in my interactions with the locals, many of them assume that I've come for a holiday directly from the USA because of my accent. They are very careful about asking you though as they don't want to offend. This was my conversation with the man who runs our hotel and assisted me in checking in:

Hotel man: "Welcome to Noosa. Where have you driven from today?"

Me: "Just up from Brisbane in the car, but we had to fly into Brisbane first this morning."

HM: "So you flew into Brisbane from...?"

Me: "We flew into Brisbane from Melbourne this morning."

HM: "So are you from Melbourne?"

Me: "Yes, that is where we are from (this is the part that freaks me out because I have to say I'm from Melbourne. I don't really feel like I'm from Melbourne). We live there."

HM: "But not originally right?"

Me: "I know, you are trying to work out the accent aren't you?"

HM: "Yes, well I know it's a North American accent, I just can't tell if you are Canadian or American."

Me: "Texan actually (that's a Texas thing, we claim our state first. We can't help it, we are a proud people. Also, this tends to freak Australians out as I don't have a very typical Texan accent and most of them refuse to believe that I'm actually from there so I do love saying it for shock value. Yes, I am that easily amused.)"

HM: "How long have you been in Australia for?"

Me: "8 years now."

HM: "Have you ever visited Noosa before?"

Me: "No, we haven't."

HM: "Well you are going to love it."

And the niceties continued until all the administration of checking in was complete.

So I guess the point I'm trying to make is it's weird to feel like an international tourist again in a country where I've lived for so long and now consider to be very much my home and to be asked questions as if I am an international tourist.

So the identity crisis continues...