Australians are a sport loving people. True to his nationality, the Handsome Australian loves sports. He really loves any sport that's going, but among his favourites are Aussie Rules Football and Cricket. I'd say these are the two sports he follows the closest and the ones that the children and I are subjected to watching most frequently.
In another life (before he married an American girl) the Handsome Australian was actually a talented Cricket player. He played with the same club throughout his youth and, if you believe the braggings of a proud father, was asked at some stage to play for Victoria. Turns out the Handsome Australian wasn't involved in Cricket for the fame and fortune--he just liked playing the game and wasn't interested in taking it any further than his local club. So play on he did, filling his summer weekends with bats, balls and beers.
When I first turned up in Australia, the Handsome Australian was still very much involved in his Cricket club. His weekends were consumed with matches and I was left to entertain myself. At some stage, I decided I should take an interest in his Cricket playing and attend some of his matches in a show of support. So I organised to have one of the Handsome Australian's Handsome brothers deliver me to the Cricket pitch one Saturday morning to see my man play. To his credit, the Handsome Australian's brother tried to warn me.
Handsome Australian's Brother: "Are you sure you really want to go and watch a match? Grass growing is often more interesting than Cricket ya know."
Me: "It can't be that bad, it's probably a bit like baseball. I'm sure it will be interesting. Besides, it will be nice to see him play."
HAB: "Okay, look I'll drop you off, but I'm coming back in an hour or so just in case you change your mind. That way you won't be stuck here all day."
Me: "If you insist, but I'm sure I'll be fine to watch the whole match."
HAB: "You do realise the match won't be finished until TOMORROW afternoon right?"
Me: "Um, yeah, tomorrow, yeah. Look just drop me off, I'll be fine."
I got out of the car wondering what the heck I'd signed myself up for. As I made my way over to the Cricket pitch I noticed something straight away. There were NO SPECTATORS!!! Absolutely no one was watching this game besides the players from each team that weren't currently on the field. I imagined a small crowd of people would be gathered and I'd be able to meet and chat to a few of them. No such luck. Not only that, I was probably the only female in a 10km radius. I felt totally out of place.
As I approached the club house, some of the boys took notice of my presence and asked if they could help me with anything. Our conversation went something like this:
Cricket Dude: "Hi there. Can I help ya find something?"
Me: "Oh I'm just here to watch HA play."
CD: "Oh, righto. You must be that American bird he was telling us about."
Me:
American bird? Huh? What had he told them? "Yes, I guess that's me."
CD: "Well there he is. He's out there bowling at the moment. He just took a wicket before, but you missed that."
Me:
Not recognising the foreign language being spoken to me "I see. Is that a good thing?"
The entire group of boys laughs.CD: "They don't play a lot of Cricket in America do they?"
Me: "No, no they don't"
CD: "That's not obvious at all."
More laughter from the boysMe:
Laughing nervously. If you can't beat them join them I thought. "Yes, I clearly have a lot to learn. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll just go and sit in the shade of that tree and see what I can glean."
Oh my God I thought, what kind of boy's club was this? I sat under the tree watching balls being bowled back and forth, back and forth and the Handsome Australian took another wicket or two. Although I had no appreciation for what that meant at the time. Then, after awhile, I heard the toot of a car horn from the car park and looked up to see the Handsome Australian's brother waving to me. I got up and literally ran to his car. I'd had enough of this rubbish to last a lifetime.
HAB: "So what'da think?"
ME: "What a colossal waste of time! And those guys--they are a bit rude really."
HAB: "I tried to warn you."
ME: "I know, I'll take your advice much more seriously the next time."
HAB: "What'da wanna do now?"
ME: "I think I need a stiff drink."
HAB: "Now, that, that is a good idea."
Off we went to the pub to try and erase the memories of my one hour foray into the world of Cricket. It wasn't until much, much later that I actually began to appreciate the game...
(
Did I just say 'appreciate the game'? Uh oh, this can't be good)