Different? Yes. Delicious? You're asking the wrong girl.

I was watching TV the other day when I saw some guy offering people tastes of Vegemite. They were all commenting on how creamy it was. It was definitely Vegemite they said, but different. Turns out it was an ad for the NEW Vegemite. A New Vegemite? I couldn't possibly imagine what could be done to Vegemite to make it more appealing. In my experience, you either love it or hate it. There isn't much of a gray area. You can count me amongst the haters, but still, I was intrigued.

Our entire household isn't full of Vegemite haters. In fact, I'm on my own in my disliking of this salty brown tar paste. The Handsome Australian and both of our children count themselves in the lovers camp. No one more so than my girl. She really LOVES Vegemite. She could eat it all day every day. So it was for her that I picked up a bottle of this New Vegemite at the grocery store this week.

It looks kind of like the old Vegemite, but is screaming out for a name. In fact, KRAFT is looking for some good inspiration in that department and asking consumers to submit their naming ideas. Turns out the original Vegemite was named by the Australian public in a similar fashion way back in 1923. It'll be interesting to see what the Aussies come up with now.

Overlooking this New Vegemite's obvious identity crisis, I decided to serve it to the Vegemite connoisseur in our household this morning. The package promises it will be, "A deliciously different Vegemite experience." Hmm...she'll be the judge of that I thought.

I told her that I found a New Vegemite at the grocery store and asked if she wanted to try it. I told her I'd heard it was creamier than the original. She was excited. She's an enthusiastic kid. "Oh, yes please Mommy. I'd love to try it." So I went to the kitchen to put the bread in the toaster and she came around the corner with a thoughtful expression on her face. Then she said, "Mommy, can I taste a little bit first--before you spread it all over my toast?" Ah ha! It seems 30 seconds of processing by the five year old led her to the same conclusion I had--what the heck could they have done to the Vegemite to make it taste better? She went from enthusiastic to suspicious.

So I put a little bit on the spreading knife and she dabbed her finger in it. She put the finger in her mouth and tasted it. I waited. "Mmmmm...." she said.

"Do you like it?" I questioned.

"Well, it's not sour. I like it sour. This isn't sour. I want the other Vegemite on my toast please Mommy."

Sour? What did she mean sour? Vegemite is sour? How the heck would I know? I've only tasted it a few times and all I remember is that I don't like it. Again, I was intrigued. So against my better judgement, I tasted the New Vegemite. It was creamy and lighter in colour. It tasted like Vegemite, but not as much. It was a more subtle Vegemite flavour. It just didn't have the Vegemite bite.

I hadn't bothered to read the label on the New Vegemite at the store to ascertain exactly how it was different from the original, but after tasting it, I was curious. So I had a read.

Turns out they basically added cream cheese to the original formula. Interesting. That would explain the creaminess and the less concentrated flavour.

It was clearly not fair to taste the New Vegemite without comparing it with the old and so I had a small taste of the original. By 'small', I do mean 'really, really small' because I haven't completely lost my mind.

Oh yes. It was salty and yes, I guess sour in a way. I remembered yet again, why I don't like Vegemite--because it's disgusting. I couldn't help but thinking, however, that much like bad reality television, Vegemite is oddly compelling. I keep coming back to it and marveling at the fact that people actually eat and enjoy it. Then I try it, and it's still disgusting.

The ingredients of the original Vegemite are much more straight forward. Despite it's super concentrated flavour, I think the original has a lot going for it. As it clearly states on the label, it's suitable for Vegetarians and I couldn't help but think--people with milk allergies like my nephews. The New Vegemite isn't as friendly in that way.

If that's not enough to put you off the New Vegemite, then I read this, "Refrigerate after opening. Best consumed within four weeks of opening."

No, no, no. I'm not going to refrigerate my Vegemite. The beauty of Vegemite is that it's low maintenance. I can chuck that tube in a back pack for a day out with the kids. I can pack it in my suitcase and lug it around the USA for months at a time (as I've been known to do). No sir, there will be none of this New high maintenance Vegemite for us. We'll stick to the original, thank you very much.

Wait, did I just say, "we"? I told you, it's oddly compelling. I've just put up a case for why I prefer the old Vegemite to the New Vegemite. Not to mention the fact that I've actually tasted both today. I still don't like it, yet I'm still here talking about it. What can I say, it has a strange power over me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make my way to the KRAFT website to propose my name for the New Vegemite: I Mite Not.

8 years and still learning....

As I've mentioned many times before here, I've been living the Expat life in Australia for 8 years now. In those 8 years, I've managed to learn quite a bit about the Australian culture. Yes, of course, I spent the first one to two years just trying to work out what people were saying to me most of the time, but after the initial language hurdles I really started to settle in to the everyday life here. (I'm only half kidding here by the way) You'd think after 8 years you'd have probably come across most things--I've lived through eight calendar years so I am familiar with the odd but welcome public holidays that come around every so often (Melbourne Cup Day for instance--LOVE IT!!) . I've witnessed several federal elections. I've bought and sold real estate. I've received medical attention. I've attended university classes. I've been to the footy, the cricket, the rugby. I've been employed casually. I've been employed full time. I've been unemployed. I've eaten in many, many, many a restaurant (a weakness the Handsome Australian and I have).

The point is, once you've been here for this amount of time, things don't seem new anymore. The learning curve has flat lined. I'm on a plateau. A really long plateau. That is, I was on a plateau until Friday night when I learned some completely new and somewhat revolting things. Well, revolting to me anyway.

The Handsome Australian and I were at the footy with Brother number 4 and a group of his mates. Somehow the conversation turned to vegemite as it so often does here in Australia. They can't seem to get enough of the salty black stuff. That's all they eat, it's all they talk about--they are crazy vegemite lovers!!! Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but you'd be surprised at how often it does turn up in conversation here. Maybe it doesn't turn up in conversation that much, but any conversation about vegemite is too much conversation as far as I'm concerned. But enough about my deep seeded dislike of the stuff, on to more important things...

The conversation went something like this:

Friend 1: "Have you ever tried vegemite on toast with avocado slices before?"

Me: "No, I can't say that I have. I don't eat vegemite full stop."

Friend 1: "Really? You don't eat it? At all?"

Me: "No, I can't stand the stuff."

Handsome Australian: "Hey, tell them what you said to me when I gave you vegemite for the first time."

The group waits with anticipation...

Me: "Well, when I first tasted vegemite, I said 'it tastes like the taste you get in your mouth right before you vomit'."

Friend 2: "Oh, well how did you have it? (Questioning the Handsome Australian) Did you give her a really thick spread of it or something?"

HA: "No, I actually introduced it to her properly. I spread margarine on some toast and then put little dabs of vegemite all around. It was very subtle. She still hated it."

F2: "Well, you can't have someone else spreading your vegemite for you. That's a dangerous thing. You have to spread your own vegemite. Vegemite spreading is a very personal thing. Everyone knows just how they like it. You simply have to do it yourself."

Me: "Funny you should say that because I make vegemite sandwiches for our daughter EVERY DAY and because I don't eat the stuff, I really have no idea how to make it. So I just spread the margarine on the bread and spread heaps and heaps of vegemite on top of it. The Handsome Australian saw me doing this one day and indicated I was too heavy handed with the vegemite, but now our daughter loves it that way."

F1: "Have you ever given her vegemite and avocado before?"

Me: "No. (quietly cringing to myself and wondering why you'd ruin a good avocado like that) I haven't tried that."

Friend 3: "Well I personally can't stand peanut butter. Can't eat it."

F1: "Yeah, I think I've had it once in my life."

Me: (Not believing what I'm hearing) "Peanut butter once?? Really??"

F1: "Yeah, it just doesn't appeal."

Me: "It doesn't appeal, but vegemite appeals??" (What planet are these people from? Oh yeah planet Australis. Crickey they really do love their vegemite.)

HA: (interrupting what could have become a very ugly debate about the virtues of peanut butter vs. vegemite) "Hey what about peanut butter and vegemite together? Now that's really nice."

F3: "Peanut butter and vegemite? That's disgusting."

I'm thinking: Sing it sister!! Finally an Australian with some sense when it comes to vegemite!

F2: (Jumping up and down and smiling with glee) "Oh my God! Oh my God!! I LOVE peanut butter and vegemite together. I've never met anyone else who ate it that way. That is so cool!!"

HA: (clearly excited as well and perhaps thinking he may have chosen the wrong soul mate) "Yeah, I've always had it that way since I was little. Love it." (still smiling)

F2: "That is awesome."

F1: "Well I still say avocado and vegemite is the best."

F2: "Oh avocado and vegemite would be good with peanut butter."

This is the point in the conversation where I had to excuse myself to the ladies so I could VOMIT!!! (except if I did that, I would get that taste in my mouth...that vegemite taste...ahhh!!!!) I can't think of anything less appetising than vegemite with peanut butter and avocado.

Just when you think you've heard it all. You've been there. You've done that. Then someone throws a curve ball like that at you.

Are they serious?


Learn the Lingo
full stop = period (This is actually how they say the punctuation as well--for instance in the USA we'd say, "Sharon, you forgot to put a period at the end of that sentence." In Oz they'd say, "Shaz, you forgot to put a full stop at the end of that sentence.")

Vegemite? A mother's conundrum...

Ten years after my initial vegemite taste test, I'm happy to say I may have consumed vegemite in one form or another, usually by accident, only a handful of times. That's right folks, vegemite and I have yet to become friends. Most Australians are very understanding of the fact that vegemite is an acquired taste and they don't begrudge those of us who don't share their affinity for the very salty, and dark substance. I'm quite comfortable admitting that I'm not a vegemite eater and I don't think I'll lose any credibility because of it. It is my children's credibility that I worry about...

Vegemite was really a very small part of my life here in Australia, I mean very, very small. We owned a jar and kept it in the cupboard, and the Handsome Australian would bring it out once in a blue moon to have on his toast. Generally, he only pulled it out when we had visitors from the USA and he tried to convince them that it was the best stuff on the planet and that he eats it all the time. He would delight in seeing their faces screw up and eyes boggle as they tasted it. Yes, he does have quite the wicked sense of humour or perhaps he's just misunderstood:



Beside these intermittent and casual exposures to vegemite over the years, I never really gave eating it (or not in my case) too much thought. Then one day I found myself as the mother of a young toddler and everything changed. Each time I'd take my child to a playgroup, the other Mums (that's Aussie for Moms) would have little tiny vegemite and margarine sandwiches for their kids to snack on. I normally had savoury biscuits (that's Aussie for crackers) or fruit for my child. She seemed quite content with her snacks and didn't seem to be missing out on the vegemite sandwiches.

The more I thought about it though, the more I realised that all of these other children were being introduced to vegemite at an early age and were "acquiring" a taste for it. What would happen later on at school, I wondered, when all the children had vegemite and margarine sandwiches for lunch and my child didn't? Would she be able to survive a childhood in Australia as a non-vegemite eater? Is there such a thing? I'd only ever met a handful of grown up Aussies who said they didn't like it.

As a parent, I find it difficult to convince my children to eat food that I personally find disgusting. Luckily, both the Handsome Australian and I have quite adventurous and varied palates and there aren't too many foods that fit into that category, but vegemite was certainly there for me. This situation, however, required action and I had to put my own good taste aside.

I decided I would offer my daughter the opportunity of eating vegemite and margarine sandwiches so that she could decide for herself whether she liked it or not. I bought a new jar of vegemite because we'd had the same one in the cupboard for about 6 years (if she was going to try it I reasoned, she should be given a fresh batch). I made her first vegemite sandwich one day and she ate the whole thing. She loved it! There was no hard sell, no coaxing, she just ate it.

The next time we went to playgroup, I took along tiny little vegemite sandwiches for my child as well. We continued in this manner for months and months. Then one day one of the other Mums asked me what was in my child's sandwiches. I told her it was vegemite and she said, "Oh, she must like it a lot because the sandwiches look quite dark--like you've spread it on quite thick." I had. Wasn't I supposed to? I never taste tested her sandwiches because I couldn't stand the smell of the stuff much less the taste. Oh no, what had I done? Was I overdosing her on vegemite? Was I creating a vegemite loving monster?

That evening, the Handsome Australian set me straight. He gave me yet another tutorial, this time the topic was, "How to make a vegemite sandwich with appropriate amounts of vegemite." Apparently, less is more when it comes to vegemite. Most people like it spread in a very thin layer over their margarine. Who knew?

I can report that several years on, I now have a very happy little vegemite eater, who incidentally, likes it spread on quite thick. Yeah, don't know where she gets that...



Learn the Lingo
cupboard = cabinet or pantry

Mum = Mom

savoury biscuits = crackers

Vegemite..A date gone wrong.

One sunny July afternoon in the leafy suburbs of Buenos Aires, Argentina, (that's where the Handsome Australian and I first met btw, catch up will ya?) I made my way to the swish pad of the Handsome Australian where I had been invited for a spot of afternoon tea. Upon arrival, the Handsome one welcomed me in to his home and led me to the balcony which overlooked a peaceful park below. We spoke a little about the neighbourhood and then he excused himself to the kitchen to put the kettle on.


I'm happy to admit that I'd never really been invited to anyone's house for a spot of afternoon tea before and I wasn't sure what to expect. In my mind I had images from British movies where stuffy people sit around and sip tea from lovely tea cups neatly arranged on their matching saucers and nibble on delicately prepared finger sandwiches. The Handsome Australian's spot of afternoon tea, while perhaps initially inspired by the British, was about to take a uniquely Australian flavour.


While I waited for the Handsome one to return from the kitchen, I made my self comfortable on his sexy (and I use that term very loosely) floral patterned couches that I think would have been more at home in my Grandmother's home instead of the bachelor pad of an Australian Expat. (While I have learned to question the Handsome Australian's style sensibilities over the years, he cannot be blamed for the couches, they came with the apartment). There were only a few channels of English speaking television you could get in Buenos Aires, if you had the money to be a cable television subscriber, and the Handsome Australian was a huge fan of BBC World. This was playing quietly in the background and I became intrigued with some vision I saw of a sport I didn't recognise, but gut instinct told me must be Cricket.


When the Handsome Australian returned from the kitchen, I began to inquire about the sport I'd just seen on the BBC. I described it to him--the players were dressed in white and were on a grassy field and there seemed to be a bat of sorts at play. Was this cricket is what I wanted to know? Instead of asking the question directly like that, I mistakenly asked, "So how is cricket played anyway?"


The Handsome Australian glowed with enthusiasm. He handed me my tea, cleared the coffee table between us and began constructing a cricket pitch with random bits of paper. This was the beginning of an hour long diatribe about how cricket is played. I sat patiently listening and nodding at the appropriate points in the conversation and even tossed out a semi-interested question or two--all in the name of infatuation. I wanted him to think I was interested even though secretly I was dying from boredom. Help! Somebody help me!!!! I thought to myself. How do I extricate myself from this terrible conversation.


As if he could hear the small cries that were bouncing around my head, the Handsome Australian's flatmate (who also happened to be Australian, but not as Handsome) entered the room in a silky Japanese style kimono that he was apparently using as a robe. He had just woken up from a peaceful slumber after a long night at one of the many Buenos Aires hot spots. It was nearly 3pm. We said our hellos and then he said...


Kimono Boy (hereafter KB): Oh I feel like a cuppa too. I think I'll go and make one and some vegemite on toast. Aw yeah, that will hit the spot.


He left the room and went to make his toast. Luckily his kimono became the topic of conversation between the Handsome one and I and I was saved from the longest history of the game of cricket ever known to man (or woman in this case, I reckon a guy might actually have been quite happy to listen to that monotony). He may have been wearing a kimono, but he'd saved me from dating disaster by redirecting our conversation so I had a soft spot for him in my heart. That was until....


He came back to the room with a hot cup of tea and a plate with two pieces of toast, a jar of vegemite, some margarine and a spreading knife. He proceeded to spread a piece of toast with the margarine (pretty liberally I'd say) and then dipped the knife in the jar of vegemite and spread what appeared to be a minuscule amount of this awful tar-like substance ever so delicately over the top of the margarine.


I was watching this ritual with great interest as I'd always heard of vegemite but had never tasted it before. Kimono boy noticed my interest and offered me a piece of his toast. The Handsome Australian got very excited.


HA: "Oh yeah, you've got to try this. It's great. We Aussies (pronounced Ozzies) love it."


KB: "Well before she tries it, you'll need to warn her that it's actually quite salty. It almost takes like brine."


HA: "Here mate, pass her a piece. (Handing me a piece of KB's toast. ) Go ahead, try it, I think you'll like it."


Me: Tentatively accepting the piece of toast handed to me. Staring at it for a second before placing it curiously in my mouth. Then I chewed and chewed and chewed. Then I swallowed it. And I said, "Yes, it certainly does have a very distinct flavour. Give me a minute. I'm trying to place it." Pondering the flavour for a second then, "Yes, I think I've got it. That's the taste that you get in your mouth immediately before you vomit."

KB: Taking my observation very seriously, "Yes, I know the taste you are talking about and there may be a similarity here, but that's not exactly it."


HA: Laughing to himself, "So you're not a fan then?"


Me: I can't believe this is all going so poorly. Water, water, some one give me water!!!! "No, I think it's safe to say that I'm not. Please, never let me taste that again. I'm serious. Yuck."


What a waste of an afternoon I thought as I said my goodbyes later in the day and left the Handsome Australian's place.


I promised myself not to waste another minute with this cricket loving Aussie and his disgusting vegemite.


Fast forward 10 years later and I'm married to the Cricket Loving Fool a.k.a. The Handsome Australian and we have a tube of vegemite safely tucked away in our newly ordered pantry. Do I ever let this bit of standard Australian fare pass my discerning lips? Stay tuned....



Learn the Lingo
spot of afternoon tea = an opportunity to drink tea/coffee and presumably consume a small snack like biscuits or sandwiches, etc

biscuits = cookies

vision = video

BBC World = British Broadcasting Corporation World news channel, think CNN International

flatmate = housemate or roommate

Cricket = click here to read about it if you have an hour...don't feel compelled!!

cuppa = cup of tea or coffee

vegemite = a yeast extract used as a spread, one of the best sources of Vitamin B