The Big USA Pilgrimage: Traveling with Preschoolers

I recently wrote a post about traveling between the USA and Australia with an infant in tow. As I said then and will repeat now, making these transpacific journeys with children adds a whole other dimension and as children age, their requirements change. So in this post, I'd like to talk a little bit about making the journey with preschool aged children.

The good news is, I think as my children have aged, the journey has gotten a bit easier. Firstly, the hard work I've put in in the past has started to pay off. The journeys I made with them as babies gave them an introduction to the trip itself and to the goodness that waits for them on the other side: grandparents, cousins, Chick-fil-a...you get the idea. My kids never complain about the length of the journey to the USA as they've been enough times to understand that the pain is worth the gain in the long run. Of course they get bored and sometimes frustrated during the trip, but the fact that they've been so many times now means that they well and truly have an understanding of how long it will take and as such have reasonable expectations as to what will happen and when. This understanding of the journey itself is priceless. So put that in the column of reasons to take them and take them often.

Once my kids were beyond the baby stage, I had to transition my thinking from how will I keep them fed, changed and well rested on the flight to how will I keep them entertained (and fed, and well rested and worst case scenario...changed)? So I began researching ideas on how to entertain young children on such a long journey. I spoke to other Expats about it, I read articles online and I tried to take away ideas that I thought would work the best for my kids.

The first thing I did was decide that the children were going to have to share the load a little bit. My children were still young enough to require some nappies and a few changes of clothes, add to that snacks, travel documents, cameras, wipes, medicines, and on and on and on and my carry on luggage was well and truly full. So I got each of them their own little backpacks. They both have a special blanket and a small stuffed animal they sleep with. I packed their blankets and stuffed animals in their bags so they would have those special comforts on the plane.

Then for about a month or so before the flight, I scoured the $2 shops for things to entertain them on the plane. Something I read online said you should take a mix of old and new things for the kids. A few old and loved toys that you know they will enjoy having along, but then something new to surprise them and distract them once their old favourites have lost their luster (ie the remaining 13.5 hours of the flight). Here's a few ideas of the sorts of things I've included in their backpacks over the last several trips (I've got a girl and a boy, so hopefully the list covers ideas for both genders):

*Small notebooks or drawing paper
*Coloured pencils/pens/crayons/textas (or markers)
*Stickers (pages of stickers)
*Colouring/Activity books
*Crayola Recoloritz (reusable themed pages that can be wiped clean and coloured in again and again)
*Stencils
*Story books (paperback is the way to go, even though board books are sturdier--they are heavy)
*Paper dolls
*Play doh w/a few small cookie cutter shapes
*Polly Pocket dolls & accessories or similar (small, light weight, but easily lost so beware)
*Hot wheels cars (or in my son's case the cars from the Disney Pixar Cars movie)
*Fold up play mat for the cars
*Small plastic animals
*Barbie dolls with a few accessories (again, accessories can go missing so beware)
*Magnetic Dress Up Dolls/Robots/Pirates
*Magnetic Playbooks by Tiger Tribe
*Playing cards
*Flash cards
*Figurines (choose your poison: Batman, Superman, the Wiggles, Ben 10, etc, etc)

There you go. A few ideas of the kinds of things we've packed during our past several trips. It sounds like a lot of items to fit into small backpacks, but we don't take very many of any one thing and we don't necessarily take everything on the list. For instance, this year my son was very heavily into the cars from the Cars movie. He has a small collection here at home so I got him to choose 5 that he wanted to take with him and we put them into a zippered pencil case to keep them together in his backpack. (A Ziploc would do the same trick, but a pencil case is sturdy and will last the whole trip.) Then before we departed, I got him 2 new cars for his collection which I put in his backpack. So when we are on the plane, he opens it to find the cars he packed and loves plus a surprise two new ones. He's happy. I'm happy. We're all happy and these cars keep him busy for ages. With my daughter, she was very keen on her Barbies. So I got her to choose two Barbies and a few changes of clothes that she wanted to take along. She stored her things in a pencil case inside her backpack as well. Then I found some mini-Barbie figures that were tiny and could be used as siblings or babies of the bigger Barbies and I put them in her backpack. On the plane she opens her pack to find her old Barbies plus a couple of new mini ones. She's happy. I'm happy. We're all happy.

At some stage, I began to question the number of things I was purchasing to put in their backpacks for these trips. Between the few new toys and the crayons, colouring books, etc. I was spending anywhere between $30-$60. Then in the middle of one of our trips, I realised something. These items in their backpacks weren't just for the plane. They were for the car rides once we got there. They were for the days at people's homes who don't have children or toys. They were for the fun of sharing with their cousins and the knowledge that even though my children were away from their homes, they still had a few things with them that were truly theirs. These items weren't just for 14 hours of entertainment, they were for 6-8 weeks of entertainment. When I thought of it that way, it seemed like money well spent.

What we don't take is a portable DVD player or DVDs of any kind. I often see people lugging these on the flights and I'm not sure why. Qantas has on demand movies and TV shows on individual screens in each seat. My kids can watch their choice of shows and I don't have to carry the DVD player. When we get to the USA, there is so much to do and so many people to visit that we don't usually have time to watch DVDs. So what would be the point of having it? Others might find it necessary or useful, but we've survived without it.

Hopefully this post is useful to those of you making this long haul journey with your preschool aged children. Do you have any useful tips of your own? Please feel free to add them in the comments section as we can all learn from one another.

Things are different Down Under

Let's face it, the Handsome Australian and I are raising a multicultural family. Not only do our children have one Australian parent and one American parent, but they have an entire extended family that is Lebanese and well, there are the Texans on the other side. Yes, a very rich heritage indeed. Given the various influences on their language and diet, I think our children move between these worlds (as I like to think of them) quite seamlessly. They've been lucky enough to be surrounded by a very interested and involved network of family and friends--each one imparting the best bits of their culture to our little sponges. Their vast knowledge of these various worlds came to light recently when their American cousins came Down Under for a visit.

We've been fortunate enough to make annual trips back to the USA since the birth of our first child five years ago. So fortunate, in fact, that our daughter made her sixth trip to the USA just before her 5th birthday. This means that our children have had significant exposure to all things American, and more so, all things Texan. Our daughter figured out long ago that Americans use different words for some things than what we use in Australia. When she is in the USA, she does a good job of converting her vocabulary so that she can be understood by her American cousins. Such a good job in fact, that I don't think her cousins really picked up on the fact that things in Australia are quite different to the way things are in the USA. Lots of words are different, food is different, weather is different--it's all really, really different.

When our Texan cousins came to visit a few weeks ago, I watched as my daughter acted as their unofficial tour guide in this strange and wonderful land. I overheard things like:

My girl: "My Dad's going to take us to the Milk Bar to get an icy pole."
My nephew: "What's an icy pole?"
MG: "Oh, in America you say Popsicle. In Australia, we say icy pole."
MN: "Y'all call Popsicles 'icy poles'?"
MG: "Yep that's right. We do. We also call ketchup 'tomato sauce'"
MN: "Y'all do?"
MG: "Yep, we do. We say a lot of things differently here."
MN: "Why do y'all say those things differently?"
MG: (Authoritatively) "That's just the way they planned it."

Yes, I never said she understood the reasoning behind the differences, I just said she recognised the differences.

It was really fun to see Australia through the eyes of a five year old American boy for two weeks. This kid has a lot of Texas pride and was making constant comparisons between things here in Australia and things he knows in Texas. Australia came out ahead in two areas--my mother-in-law's freshly squeezed lemonade was, "better than my Mommy's lemonade" and the bacon from our local deli that the Handsome Australian fried up one morning was, "better than Houston bacon." Other than that, he pretty much resolved that we should just move to Texas because things are generally better there.

His most surprising observation, after watching my toilet training two year old run around pant less for the good part of two weeks, was, "Mommy even the penises are different here. They are pointy." His mother just quietly agreed and left the whole circumcision discussion for another day. Ah yes, things are different Down Under.

He said, She said...

On a wintry afternoon in May, I left our home and began the short walk to the local preschool to collect my daughter. Along the way, I stopped in at a neighbour's house to see if she wanted to accompany me. Her son is a fellow classmate of my daughter and we generally walk to and from the preschool together. On this particular afternoon we were exchanging stories about the funny things our kids sometimes say to us about the day's events at preschool. At some point my neighbour turned to me and said, "You know I think my James has picked up something from your daughter."

Me: Surprised and slightly worried as to what my neighbour could be referring to. Did she mean some kind of a bug? Or a bad habit? How did she know my daughter was the responsible one? I responded tentatively, "Picked up something? What do you mean?"

Neighbour: Elusively, "Yeah, he's started saying something at home all the time. I know he hasn't gotten it from us because we don't say that at our house."

Me: Oh no! This is terrible. What has she said? What has she taught him that he is now repeating in front of his parents? Crikey! How embarrassing is this? My mind is racing as I try to think what awful thing she may have taught him. Fearfully, "Oh really, and what would that be?"

Neighbour: "You're welcome."

Me: Huh? What's she talking about? Confused, "Sorry? What do you mean?"

Neighbour: "I mean our James has learned to say, You're Welcome, from your daughter. We don't ever use those words at our house, but he says it all the time. I'm sure he learned it from her. It's very sweet--whenever he does something for us we say, 'Thanks James' and he says, 'You're welcome.'

Me: Relieved. I was convinced this conversation was heading in a different direction and was preparing my apologies and looking for an appropriate sized rock to crawl under, but wow what a windfall! Turns out my little one was spreading the good words not the bad ones!! Thank goodness for that. I'm still a bit confused though, if they don't say 'you're welcome' then what do they say? Inquisitively, "So you think it's a bit odd that he says this? What would you guys say then?"

Neighbour: "Well it's just a very American thing to say, I think. That's why I am pretty sure James has learned it from your daughter. We don't really know anyone else who would speak that way. Australians would say, 'That's okay' or 'No worries', but 'You're welcome' sounds a bit formal to us."

Me: Feeling silly yet again, "Of course. I guess you are right. I never really thought about it. It's funny what you pick up on isn't it?"

Neighbour: "Yes, it is."

Me: "Well, I suppose there are worse things she could be teaching him. You had me worried in the beginning. I couldn't imagine what she might have said!"

Neighbour: Laughing, "No, give them time though. I'm sure they'll teach each other all sorts of bad things over the years."

When I arrived home, I thought more about what my neighbour had said. I guess it's really true that children are a reflection of their parents. Thankfully, in this case, my daughter reflected her mother's Americanism and good Southern manners instead of the colourful language I may somtimes use in heavy traffic.

Learn the Lingo
collect = to pick up
crikey = an expression used to express surprise
no worries = you're welcome

Fairy bread? Party Pies? Parcels?

Today, the Handsome Australian and I dressed our little ones in their best "party clothes" and headed out to celebrate the first birthday of our friends' son. Whilst at the party, I started to ponder a lot of the uniquely Australian aspects at play. This is not the first child's birthday party we've attended here, quite the opposite we've been to many. The Handsome Australian was born and raised here and obviously experienced many a party in his youth, but the whole Australian Children's Birthday Party scene was new to me until a few years ago when we had our own kids and we began the birthday party circuit.

Here are a few of the distinct differences I have observed between the Australian parties and the American ones I've been to:

1. Paper Invites are Optional: Coming from Texas, I am accustomed to sending out and receiving paper invites for children's parties. Generally, the invite is related to the party theme (if there is one) and sometimes the invites will be handmade by the party hosts. I'd say there is quite often a fair amount of effort that goes into inviting people to your child's party. In Australia, people seem to be a lot more laid back about it. I've been invited to many children's birthday parties here with simply a phone call or a verbal invite when I see the person. I'm personally a fan of the written word and I like a nice invite. Call me old fashioned, call me Southern, heck, call me Texan.
2. RSVPs are Hit or Miss: To be fair, I've lived in Australia for 8 years now and I can't remember how effective people in the USA were about RSVPing (is there such a term?) for parties, but I do remember being quite surprised at the first few parties I held here in Oz that so many people turned up who hadn't called to say they were indeed coming. I always find catering for a party a bit difficult here because I'm never quite sure who is coming or how many. My instinct tells me that Americans are a bit more efficient in this department, but again, I wouldn't really have any idea after 8 years abroad.
3. Gifts are opened almost immediately. Growing up in Texas, I remember taking gifts to birthday parties and putting them aside on a table with all the other gifts until it was "gift opening time", at which point, everyone gathered around and watched the birthday boy/girl open the gifts. I always quite liked this method of gift opening as everyone got to see what gifts were received by the child and appropriate thank-yous could be made. My experience here in Australia has been the gift is given to the child upon arrival at the party and the child immediately opens the gift on the spot. This means the person who brought the gift gets to see the child open it, but few others. I'm not really a fan of this practice because when it's my child's birthday, I'm usually too busy in the kitchen mucking about with the food to see what gifts my child is opening. My child never remembers who gave her/him what and who knows if he/she said thank-you to the person or not.
4. Fairy Bread, Party Pies, Sausage Rolls, Frankfurts...You haven't lived until you've eaten these delicacies at an Aussie birthday party. Okay, maybe you have lived, but you haven't lived in Australia because these menu items are standard fare and you generally won't find much else. There seems to be an unwritten code that these Aussie favourites will be on offer at every child's birthday party because I've seen them at nearly every one I've been to. Fairy bread, for the uninitiated, is merely sliced bread (generally white) spread with margarine and covered with hundreds and thousands (that's Aussie for rainbow sprinkles). When the Handsome Australian first told me about this Aussie delight, I said, "Are you kidding me? This is what you guys ate as kids? At a party? Bread with margarine and sprinkles? That has got to be the saddest thing I've ever heard." Now that I've actually tasted it, I still think it's quite sad, but after 8 years of living here, I make it for all of my kid's parties. The kids love it. I can't explain it, but I just toss it in the "unexplained love of random Aussie food items" file right next to Vegemite and move on. The Party Pies of which I speak are a miniature version of the much lauded Aussie Meat Pie. These have to be some of the most disgusting creations I've ever come across. As a rule, I don't eat meat pies. No, I'm not a vegetarian, I'm just not interested in eating a piece of pastry oozing a brown liquid that's got the consistency of gravy with small bits of "meat" floating in it. As for the humble Sausage Roll, this seems to be one of the few party food items people bother to prepare from scratch. If the Sausage roll (seasoned mince meat wrapped in pastry) is homemade, I may give it a whirl. If it's from the frozen food section of your local grocery store, I'll give it a miss. I know, I'm such a food snob. As for the frankfurts, they come in a vacuum sealed pack in the fridge section of your local grocery store. You boil them in water for a few minutes and serve them with sauce (that's Aussie for ketchup). These probably aren't too far off the American hot dog, only they are smaller and meant to be a finger food. I don't mind a hot dog, but I just can't stomach the frankfurts. Good thing the food is actually for people with less discriminating tastes...the kids!
5. Pass the Parcel? Not only is the food vastly different, but the games that are played at the parties are different too. Don't get me wrong, the Aussies do play Pin the Tail on the Donkey, but I've never seen a game of musical chairs here. The all time favourite party game and one that the Handsome Australian reckons characterises the parties he went to as a child is Pass the Parcel. This game is played with a prize that has been wrapped in layers and layers of wrapping paper. The wrapped prize, known as the "parcel", is passed around a circle of children while music is played. When the music stops, the child holding the "parcel" unwraps one layer of the wrapping paper. There might be mini-prizes in between some of the layers, but the goal is to be the last one holding the parcel when it's time to unwrap the final layer of wrapping because this means you get to keep the prize.
6. No Pinatas! While I've seen pinatas for sale at party stores here, I've yet to attend a birthday party where there was one. I don't think pinatas have quite caught on in Australia yet. Pinatas were a staple of my childhood birthday party experiences and I love a party with a good pinata. When my first born celebrated her first birthday, I decided I'd make a pinata for her party to carry on the tradition. I spent three weeks making the silly thing with the Handsome Australian constantly saying, "I don't know why you are bothering, it's not like she's going to remember this." When it was finally finished and every painstaking piece of tissue paper had been hand glued to the thing, I determined it had taken too long to produce and would NOT be filled with lollies (that's Aussie for candy) and smashed. So I'm not really doing my part to usher in the tradition either. Baby steps, baby steps....
7. Hip Hip Hooray! Here in Australia, when it's time to have the cake and sing "Happy Birthday", the party goers sing the song just as we do in the USA until the very end. After they finish the last line, "Happy Birthday to you..." someone in the crowd shouts, "Hip Hip" and the rest of the crowd shouts, "Hooray". This is repeated three times. I often wonder what would happen if no one took the initiative and shouted "Hip Hip" first.

Who knew something as simple as a child's birthday party could be so different? There are probably heaps of other differences I've neglected to list here, but I've tried to cover the most outstanding. Despite the different approaches, menus and entertainment, the kids always seem to have fun!

Learn the Lingo

pressie = present

mucking about = messing around

fairy bread = sliced white bread spread with margarine and topped with rainbow sprinkles

party pies = miniature meat pies

sausage rolls = seasoned mince meat wrapped in a pastry

mince meat = ground beef

sauce (short for tomato sauce) = ketchup

Pass the Parcel = a children's party game (see decription above)

lollies = candy